From Paris with love

PicturePia Weng (midwife) and Lilian Thykjær Jørgensen (European Sperm Bank)

Even though our offices are  located in Denmark, European Sperm Bank has a very close collaboration with fertility clinics in more than 60 countries. 

One of the countries, where fertility treatments with donor sperm is not as widely known, is France. 

Because of that, we were asked if we would inform women in France about the possibilities of having the treatment in another country – Denmark for example.

​This became a seminar in Paris, established by the fertility clinic Vitanova.

​One of the participants from this event wrote the following email to us afterwards:“At the first meeting in Paris, we were given the opportunity to learn more about the fertility treatments offered by a fertility clinic in Copenhagen, as well as about the different types of donors. The meeting was co-facilitated by two midwives from the fertility clinic and by the European Sperm Bank sperm donor coordinator.

In a warm and caring environment, the participants could ask all the questions they had, share their experiences and motivations for those who wished, and learn about the practical aspects of insemination, IVF and of the process of choosing and buying donor sperm. A small presentation of the tools used for insemination was also made by one of the midwives.

This evening, rich in exchanges, allowed everyone to leave with a better visibility of the possibilities offered by the fertility clinic and the specific process of the different stages, from the preliminary interview to the birth of the child.”

We share knowledge
European Sperm Bank host and participate in seminars all over Europe. Last fall, we were in Copenhagen and Stockholm, and this year we hope to visit many more cities.

We know what questions and concerns you may have about your insemination and sperm donor. Every year, we give advice and talk to thousands of women and couples from more than 80 countries. You can talk to us about all topics like choosing a donor, screenings and tests, and how to talk to your child about the donor.

We are here to help you – so feel free to contact us.

Want to know more? 
Subcribe to the blog newsletter and get a notification next time we hold a seminar: You ca also contact midwidfe Pia Weng or visit Vitanova 

//posted by Stinne, Client Service Manager at European Sperm Bank

Adult donor children share their thoughts


When do I tell my child about the donor? Do I? And how will my child react?

At European Sperm Bank, we recommend being open and honest with your child, and to tell them about how they were created, so that it becomes a natural part of who they are.

But the final decision is yours. 

Here you can read short quotes from adult donor children, who were conceived 20 to 40 years ago. ​They are from a time where having children with the help of a sperm dono was less usual than today. Recieveing infertility treatment were more of a taboo, and therefore many parents had a difficulties explaning the facts to their children.

In these quotes some of them have always known that they were conceived with the help from a sperm donor. Others were told as adults. Here is how the reflect on what knowing or not knowing has influenced them:

“It’s a little weird because when you tell your middle school friends your dad was a sperm donor they all look at you like you were made in a lab.”
—Aria, 22

“Sperm donation is such a niche thing to do that I wonder what my biological Dad is really like. Sperm isn’t rare and difficult to extract like eggs so it makes me wonder why he thought he should donate sperm in the first place. Like, was he an egomaniac or was he broke or what?”
—David, 19

“The main thing I’ve wondered is how many half brothers and sisters I might have. As an only child I wondered this a lot when I was in middle school and I still wonder about it now. One? Twenty? More than the idea of meeting my biological father I’d love to meet any half siblings I might have. What has their life been like? Do they look like me? Would we recognize ourselves in one another? These are things I very much still think about.”
—Mary, 35

“My mother waited until last year when my father died of a heart attack to tell me that my biological dad was a sperm donor. I’ve only spoken to her once since then it made me so mad. I know that I will at some point but I’m just not there yet.”
—Daria, 29

“I’ve worked out my feelings about it now, but my parents made the terrible decision to not tell me that I was the result of sperm donation until I was nearly 17. It really, really messed me up emotionally and I didn’t come to grips with it until I was nearly out of college. I spent several years truly resenting my dad who loves me and was a wonderful father to me.”
—Mark, 26

“One thing that bothered me growing up and I don’t think she did it on purpose was that my mother always referred to my biological father as a ‘donor’ rather than as a person. It was unconscious but that made me feel like half of me wasn’t real somehow and I think a lot of depression I had during my teen years was because of this feeling.”
—Cynthia, 24

“Most people just assume that all sperm donors are anonymous and most are but you can choose to be an open donor or an anonymous donor. My biological dad chose to be an open donor. It wasn’t until I was nearly thirty that I actually decided to try to contact him and I’m glad that I did. I waited until I was married and had a family of my own before I did it though because I didn’t want meeting him to destabilize me emotionally any more than it had too. Turns out that he’s a great guy. My parents were a little worried about me meeting him at first but now I feel like I just have more family and meeting him did explain some things about my own life that I’d previously struggled with.”
—Michael, 40


Then and Now – What has changed?
The thoughts you have just read come from adult donor children, who were conceived 20 to 40 years ago.
Since then, many things have changed and many taboos about infertility and donor children have been broken down.

Remember – today many more than 100,000 donor children have been born around the world.

So not only is having children through insemination more and more common and usual now than just 20 years ago: Today, there are many more options for people seeking sperm donors. Much more information is available.

At European Sperm Bank you can get extended profiles for every donor with background story, hobbies and interests, family history, baby pictures, staff impression and both a handwritten letter and an audio interview.

This way, you as a parent have much more knowledge about the donor to share with your child, and you are equipped to answer more questions about who this person is and why you chose him.

//posted by Michael, Communications Specialist at European Sperm Bank