In a very honest article “I Am a Sperm Donor Baby and I Don’t Care Who My Dad Is”, Lucy explains how biology has nothing to do with how she feels about the people, who brought her up: Her real parents!
“I refer to this man as my “biological father,” not my “dad,” because he is not my dad. I have half his genes, but he has had absolutely no role in my life whatsoever. He donated his sperm on the condition that he could remain anonymous; it was an altruistic gesture to help someone somewhere in the U.K. who couldn’t conceive naturally. He didn’t want to be my dad; he just wanted to do a good thing. Yes, I am grateful to him for this act, but I feel no emotional connection to him”, Lucy says.
Her mother was always open about how the twins were conceived, and it has never been a problem for Lucy: “When I tell people about my origins, I am nearly always asked: “Don’t you want to know who your dad is?” My answer, without hesitation, is always no.”
In the UK, the law on sperm donation changed in 2004, prohibiting the use of anonymous sperm donors from 2006. It is now possible for the donor’s identity to be released to the child once it reaches 18. Before the age of 18, parents and child can access non-identifying information about them, like physical description, age, and ethnicity.
Lucy’s brother is very keen to learn more about the donor, and after the law has changed, it has been possible for him to gain a bit of information about the sperm donor.
Lucy realizes that not all donor-conceived children are as happy as she is, and there may be many reasons why. But she has a message for them: “I want to tell them this: Think of the effort someone went through to have you. You were extremely wanted.”
She believes that a parent is someone who loves you unconditionally and does their absolute best to raise you as well as they can. Their genes are irrelevant.