Should you tell your children about their origin?


The short answer? Yes! At European Sperm Bank our motto is “We give life to your choice”. That choice is a child: A child, we hope will grow up and have a beautiful life. 
We are aware that sperm banks around the world vary in their way of handling the donors, mothers and the children. We think a lot about the future, and to us it is highly important that we treat people right and with respect. For us, a part of that respect is not to keep anyone in the dark.

Children born with the help of a sperm donor might experience some difficult issues growing up, just like any other child. We discuss many of these challenges in our other posts on donor children, but right here are a few good reasons why you should tell your child about his or her origin:

  • It puts honesty at the heart of family relationships.
  • It allows donor children to learn about aspects of their history, integrate the knowledge as they grow up and accept their story without shock or distress.
  • It allows donor conceived people to make choices about their lives.
  • It means that significant differences between a child and parent (in looks, talents etc.) can be easily explained.  It also removes suspicion about for example whether the child could be adopted.
  • It means that a true medical history (or lack thereof) can be given to doctors, making diagnosis and treatment of medical conditions more accurate. It also removes anxiety about the inheritance of disorders from the non-genetic parent.
  • It does not mean that donor children will reject their non-genetic parent.

Choosing a donor from a sperm bank that provides you with extended information about the donor, e.g. personality, life goals and interests, may also make it easier to answer some of the question that your child may have.
//posted by Stinne, Client Service Manager at European Sperm Bank